july 19/SMOKESWIM

AQI (8:00am): 113

Will we have open swim in an hour and a half? They haven’t cancelled it yet. I went outside to water the tomatoes and peppers and I could feel the smoke, but it wasn’t too bad. 113 is “unhealthy for sensitive groups.”

In other health news for future Sara when she talks to her doctor at the end of the month: another night with restless legs and (almost) a calf cramp. I felt the same sort of wave of something strange pass through my lower calf as I did a few years ago. Back then, it made me very anxious, last night, not as much. Is it the wrong level of estrogen or progesterone, or my body getting used to the HRT, or something else? Whatever it was, I slept poorly: only 5 hours even though I went to bed at 10:30.

AQI (8:15am): 123

swim: 2 loops
lake nokomis open swim
76 degrees
AQI: 137

Open swim happened! Hooray! I was disappointed that the air quality was bad, but it wasn’t that bad and it made for a cool effect on the water. So much smoke and haze, all of it white and dreamy. Harder to see for everyone, at least I imagine it was harder for normally sighted people too. It didn’t bother me because I already can’t see that well, and don’t really need sight to navigate.

Before the swim, my entire body was bubbling with anxiety — a combination of adjusting to the hormone flux, and strong physical reactions to any strange sensations in my calves. I think I was worried that I might have a calf cramp in the middle of the lake. As I started swimming everything felt strange, surreal. Smoke, warm water, a gentle rocking. I tried to distract myself by focusing on colors, but the anxiety kept bubbling up near the edge, like boiling pasta water on the stove. Just before it boiled over, I abruptly stopped swimming and listened to the silence in the middle of the lake. I saw a lifeguard silhouetted in the smoked-out sun and the bright pink buoy of another swimmer and I was able to calm down. I started stroking again — 1 2 3 4 5 breathe right 1 2 3 4 5 breathe left — as I passed the second, then third buoy.

I was able to swim about 40 minutes without stopping and with only a few more anxiety flare-ups. The water was a pale blue-ish green below me. Looking up and just beneath the surface, it started as pale green, then turned into a clear band at the edge. Above, it was the hint of a purply blue.

10 Things

  1. a lot of the Eurasian milfoil is gone!
  2. some non-open swimmers were blasting a speaker at the lifeguard stand where open swimmers leave their stuff, the LOUD throbbing of the beat increased my anxiety
  3. overheard, 1 swimmer to another: I’m just going to swim to the second buoy and back
  4. overheard, 1 swimmer to another: I have no illusions about my swimming ability!
  5. overheard, 1 swimmer to another: Let’s put our ages on our (Women’s Tri race) caps! You don’t have to, but it’s fun to see everyone’s age when you’re running!
  6. arriving at the lake, the smoke on the water looked so thick — everything was white
  7. the occasional bent elbow of another swimmer, some foam, a bright pink or orange buoy tethered to a torso
  8. a few shredded clouds hanging in the sky
  9. a slight ache in my left shoulder by the start of loop 2
  10. rounding the fifth buoy and sighting the first one in the distance: a small, bright orange dot

AQI (12:30pm): 156

The water offered a gentle rocking for the first half of the first loop, then turned choppier. I could see my bubble friends and hear the sloshing of water over my head.

color in layers: underwater / underside of surface / surface from above / sky

water / under surface / above surface / sky | seltzer bottle / danish container / ziploc / milk jug

Playlist: Plastic Fantastic

Created this plastic playlist yesterday. I’m looking forward to listening to it on my next run.

  1. Plastic Hearts/ Miley Cyrus
  2. Midnight Sky/ Miley Cyrus
  3. PLASTIC/ sakehands (feat. Marty Valentine & Lo)
  4. Plastic/ Moses Sumney
  5. Fake Plastic Trees/ Radiohead
  6. Plastic/ New Order
  7. Plastic/ Portishead
  8. Plastic Doll/ Lady Gaga
  9. Barbie Girl/ Aqua
  10. Plastic Romance/ A Toys Orchestra
  11. Dear Plastic/ The Sugarcubes
  12. Plastic Jesus/ Jello Biagra & MoJo Nixon
  13. Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach/ Gorillaz (feat. Snoop Dogg and Hypnotic Brass Ensemble)
  14. Plastic Beach/ Gorillaz (feat. Mick Jones and Paul Simonon
  15. Synthetic World/ Swamp Dogg
  16. Plastico/ Ruben Blades
  17. Plastic Girl/ CAPSULE (feat. EeL)
  18. The Bomb/ L7
  19. Plastic Factory (Mono)/ Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
  20. Polyethylene Pts 1 & 2/ Radiohead
  21. Toxic Garbage Island/ Gojira
  22. We Are Plastic/ Crash Tokio
  23. Living in the Plastic Age/ The Buggles
  24. Video Killed the Radio Star/ the Buggles

AQI (3:11pm): 117