Tag: headphones

nov 1/RUN

5.6 miles
ford loop
40 degrees

I overdressed this morning in a long-sleeved shirt, sweatshirt, tights and gloves. The sun was warmer than I thought. Most of the leaves are off the trees and on the ground. The ravine near Shadow Falls was a beautiful rusty red. The thin creek running through it shimmered in spots.

It helped to get outside and be beside the gorge. It’s an exhausting time. Both of my kids are supposed to be in college this semester, neither of them are. They are each working on their mental health. It’s hard to see them suffer. On top of that, the impending election is terrifying. While I ran, I forgot about all of this.

10 Things

  1. the bells of St. Thomas tolling twelve times as I crested the Summit hill
  2. 2 small bowls on a neighbor’s front steps, filled with full-sized reese’s peanut butter cups
  3. a man walking a dog listening to talk radio without headphones — I couldn’t tell if it was about politics or sports
  4. water falling softly from shadow falls
  5. the river from lake street bridge: gray, rippled, a shimmering line of light near the east shore
  6. a graffitied port-a-potty with the jar very slightly ajar — was it open, or was the door unable to fully close?
  7. the trees on the west side of the river near locks and dam no. 1 were bare and a fuzzy brown
  8. the sudden start of sirens close by — a fire truck coming up the hill from the locks
  9. the stinky mulch that had been piled on the edge of the path was gone
  10. an opening on the bluff — what a view of the river and the other side!

Yes, That’s When/ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

I like my body when I’m in the woods
and I forget my body. I forget that arms,
that legs, that nose. I forget that waist,

that nerve, that skin. And I aspen. I mountain.
I river. I stone. I leaf. I path. I flower.
I like when I evergreen, current and berry.

I like when I mushroom, avalanche, cliff.
And everything is yes then, and everything
new: wild iris, duff, waterfall, dew.

oct 31/RUN

3.5 miles
trestle turn around
38 degrees / drips then drizzle then freezing rain

Happy Halloween. Snow later this morning. Wanted to get in a quick run before that happened. When I started it was only dripping but as I finished, freezing rain. Wore black running tights, a pink hooded jacket, a black winter vest, and black gloves. Running north I had the wind in my face. Running south, to my side. I enjoyed this run. Hardly anyone else out on the trail and cool temperatures. Winter running is coming!

Since I’m trying to finish an audio book that’s due in 2 days, I listened to it instead of the rain — except for in the last minutes of the run. I took out my headphones and heard water falling steadily.

10 Things

  1. the usual puddles on neighborhood sidewalks: just past the alley, a stretch on the next block, a big one covering entire slab on 46th
  2. bright headlights cutting through the trees on the other side of the ravine
  3. a few stones stacked on the big boulder
  4. under the lake street bridge: a red blanket stretched on the uneven limestone with a person under it, an empty wheelchair nearby
  5. a small stretch of the river road between lake street and the trestle was flooded. It almost was cresting the curb
  6. most cars slowed down for the flooding, but one didn’t — splash! — thankfully not on me
  7. only one other runner out there
  8. roaring wind
  9. light gray sky
  10. a steady, strong rhythm of striking feet

That wheelchair broke me open for the rest of the run.

Yesterday, Scott, RJP, and I voted early! Everyone at the polling place was happy and nice and excited to be voting. A great experience, even as it was difficult because of my failing vision. Before voting, we were required to fill out an absentee ballot form. Only the highlighted parts, the person who handed us the form instructed. The problem: I can’t see yellow, and that was the color of the highlighted text. RJP had to point out the sections. Scott was unsettled as he was reminded of how bad my vision is getting. At first, when I looked at the ballot, I couldn’t quite make sense of it, but after a moment, slowly, I could read the different categories and names. I thought I was filling in the entire bubble (Harris/Walz, OF COURSE!), but when I double- then triple-checked it, I had only filled in half of it. Another few times, and I finally filled it all in.

water section of haunts

Wrote this bit about the hidden cut-off wall in downtown Minneapolis that was put in place in 1876 and still holds the river back from breaking through the last bed of limestone:

A century and
a half later, the
concrete, hidden deep*,
still stands and the river,
ever restless*, has
not stopped trying to
move past it. Water
will flow where water
wants to go, under
over through. Near the
gorge the girl beholds
its quiet refusal
to be contained.

*should I cut these extra bits?

I thought about the idea of water going where it wants to go as I ran through the rain, navigating the streams and puddles.

oct 29/RUN

3.1 miles
locks and dam no. 1 and back
61 degrees / humidity: 80%

High today of 78. Tomorrow 72. Halloween 49. As Scott says, It’s always cold on Halloween. I felt overheated during the run. Face burning and dripping sweat. I had been planning to do a 10k — the Hidden Falls loop — but it felt too warm. Maybe on Thursday. I wore black shorts and a darkish blue short-sleeved shirt. The same thing I wore for the marathon.

I listened to an audio book, The God of the Woods, so I was distracted as I ran. Can I remember 10 things?

10 Things

  1. an intense, sweet and sour and woody smell as I ran by a pile of wood chips at the edge of the trail
  2. tall piles of wet leaves at the end of the street, waiting for the city workers to return and scoop them up in their truck
  3. beep beep beep — a city truck backing up
  4. 3 or 4 stacked stones on the ancient boulder
  5. a group of bikers, all wearing bright yellow long-sleeved shirts
  6. crunch crunch crunch — my feet running through a blanket of leaves on one side of the trail
  7. a faint shadow on the sidewalk, cast from the light of a weak, cloud-covered sun
  8. someone sitting on a bench near the overlook, wearing dark clothing
  9. the water fountain near 36th appears to still be on — the st. paul ones are already turned off, when do they turn off the minneapolis ones?
  10. the clicking and clacking of a roller skier’s poles and the bright blue of their shirt — did I see this today or on my walk yesterday afternoon?

more on the water section of haunts

I’m still gathering ideas and resources for my water section. Here’s another one:

Though the river has always been dynamic, it looks very different than it did just a few centuries ago. In the past 175 years, people began making major engineering changes to the river in attempts to harness it for industry. Before we started building mills, dams and locks, the Mississippi here was a wild and free-flowing river.

Rather than the series of dammed reservoirs we have today, the river was a braided channel with at least a dozen islands between the falls and Bdóte, where the Minnesota River enters the Mississippi. The river had rocky rapids, gravel bars and beaches, fast and slow spots, deep and shallow spots and floodplains.

Meet our twin cities locks and dams

Possibly to put beside this, a line from a poem I revisited this morning:

And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am
(from Let this darkness be a bell tower/ Rainer Maria Rilke)

oct 27/RUN

6.25 miles
flats and back
45 degrees

I’ll take this weather every day. Sunny and cold enough to not overheat but not cold enough to feel cold. Wore shorts, a short-sleeved shirt, and a sweatshirt. Took the sweatshirt off at mile 3. Ran much faster and for longer without stopping than I have recently. Was greeted by Mr. Holiday near the beginning of the run — good morning! Heard some voices down below — rowers? hikers? My right kneecap shifted a few times as I ran. At first, I was worried and thought, usually that only happens when I walk, but then I remembered that in the fall my kneecap can move around some. Is it the colder weather?

I ran the first 5k without stopping, then walked a little before starting again. I turned on the metronome at 175 and listened to it as I ran up the hill. Then I switched to a Billie Eilish playlist. I was hoping that listening to the metronome would get me inside of the beat and open me up to noticing and feeling more, but I couldn’t quite get there. I could hear that I was in time with the steady click, but I couldn’t feel that moment when we were fully in sync, when the striking of my feet was the beat happening.

10 Things

  1. more leaves off the trees, more open air above the gorge to view — bright and looking almost hazy. Was that the air or just an effect of how bare and un-green the other side was?
  2. the bright, silvery reflection of the sun off a bike’s mirror — the bike was not moving, but was parked by a bench and 2 people
  3. fluttering leaves in front of me, showing me that the wind was at my back
  4. the leaves hovered in the air, one of them long enough for me to touch it
  5. a roller skier in all black
  6. another roller skier in a bright yellow long-sleeved shirt
  7. signs and port-a-potties left over from yesterday’s race
  8. the seep in the flats was seeping enough to have left a big wet spot on the road
  9. vision error: got too close to the edge of the trail and hit my face on a branch, then ran right over another pile of branches and almost tripped
  10. so many leaves on the path, covering holes and cracks and bumps — rolled my ankle on a bump that I couldn’t see

Before the run, I listened to a recording of a draft of a section of the poem I’m working on and had some good ideas for revisions. Very excited about how my Haunts poem is coming together!

oct 16/RUN

4 miles
minnehaha falls and back
39 degrees

Wonderful weather for running! Not too cold, but cold enough to not overheat. The color of the day: yellow. I’m sure there were orange and red leaves, but all I remember were the bright yellow ones. Another color I remember: glitter — on the water, among the fluttering leaves. Seeing the low water in the creek on Monday, I wondered if the falls would even be falling. They were, but no gushing or roaring.

10 Things

  1. laughing kids at Dowling Elementary
  2. the oak savanna is still mostly green
  3. a sidewalk covered in dry, yellowed pine needles
  4. a person taking a selfie with their dog by my favorite overlook at the falls
  5. the man who empties the parking kiosks — I’ve seen him several times before and wondered why he comes in a regular (unmarked) car and how many coins he collects
  6. the creek was higher than in past falls when bare rock was exposed
  7. instead of a rope blocking the steps down to the falls, which is easy to climb over, Minneapolis Parks has added a green metal gate
  8. the shadow of some leaves falling to the ground, looking like the shadows of birds
  9. those same falling leaves looking like brown snow
  10. the swinging shadow of my ponytail

pines and Basho

I ran over yellow pine needles covering the sidewalk at the start of my run and thought about Basho. So I looked up “basho pine” and found this line:

Learn about the pines from the pine, and about bamboo from the bamboo.
Don’t follow in the footsteps of the old poets, seek what they sought.

from Basho on Poetry

A poem I was working on yesterday (and submitted to a journal for consideration), starts this way:

It begins here: from
the ground up, feet first,
following.

The following I am referring to is not simple repetition, even as it literally is about following trails already made by past feet, but seeking what past feet sought: connection, contact, familiarity with the ground/land and how it has been shaped.

ghosts and zombies

My plan for this month was to focus on Zombies, but between a kid crisis, the marathon, and a poem that insisted on being reworked, I haven’t given much attention to them. Maybe two other reasons: I don’t really like zombies, and I’m still thinking about ghosts.

from Circle / Dana Knott 

human obits in the process
of being written
ghostly obits in the process
of being read

Here’s what I wrote on August 1, 2024 that got me thinking about zombies:

On Ghosts V. Zombies/ Suzanne Buffam

Soul without a body or body without a soul?
Like choosing between an empty lake
And the same empty lake. 

For the past few years, I’ve devoted a lot of attention to ghosts and haunts, but I’ve rarely thought about zombies. This poem is making me want to think about them now. So many directions to go with it — the relationship between the body and the soul or the body and the spirit or the body and the mind; how, because I can’t see people’s faces or make eye contact, they look soulless to me — I’m a ghost among zombies; Alice Oswald and the Homeric mind — our thoughts traveling outside of our bodies; Emily Dickinson and the soul that wanders; the fish in us escaping (Anne Sexton) or the bees released, returned to the hive/heaven (Eliot Weinberger). 

I clicked on the ED link and read my entry from march 19, 2024. There’s a lot of good stuff in it, including a reference to Homer, but not the poet, the cartoon character, Homer Simpson. It’s the clip where his brain escapes his body to avoid listening to Ned Flanders talking about the differences between apple juice and cider (if it’s clear and yella, you got juice there fella, if it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town). Wow.

taking it slow

Reading the “about this poem” for poets.org’s poem of the day, Dead Reckoning, I encountered this line:

This poem began as a long sequence but arrived at this stripped-down form after fifteen years of off-and-on revision.

Hyejung Kook

15 years of off-and-on revision! I’m only on year 3 of my Haunts revisions. I’m glad to know that other poets sit with some of their poems for a long time.

After finding this, I read an old entry from October 16, 2021, and found this:

“I am slow and need to think about things a long time, need to hold onto the trace on paper. Thinking is adventure. Does adventure need to be speedy? Perhaps revising is a way of refusing closure?…” 

Rosemarie Waldrop

This slow time reminds me of Lorine Niedecker and what she writes in a letter to her poet-mentor, Cid Corman, while working on her poem, “Lake Superior”:

Cid, no, I won’t be writing for awhile, and I need time, like an eon of limestone or gneiss, time like I used to have, with no thought of publishing. I’m very slow anyhow . . . . I’m going into a kind of retreat so far as time (going to be geological time from now on!) is concerned . . . .

Lorine Niedecker

sept 29/RUN

10 miles
downtown and back
57 degrees

The last long run before the marathon next Sunday. Just one more week and then I’ve made it to the start line! Not easy, but not hard either. My first time running this far into downtown — past the Stone Arch Bridge — in years. Already crowded at 9 am on a Sunday morning. Sunny, warm. Lots of sweat.

Listened to an audio book, The Marlow Murder Club, so I was distracted. Can I remember 10 things I noticed?

10 Things

  1. near the seep/spring in the flats, the road was all wet
  2. rowers! heard: coxswain’s voice
  3. some more red leaves higher in the trees
  4. the St. Thomas bells chiming at least 2 different times
  5. roller skiers: a pair + a few individual skiers
  6. running straight into the sun — difficult to see anything
  7. the soft sand on the dirt path near the Hennepin Bridge
  8. a single, brown leaf fluttering to the ground in front of me
  9. thin foam on the surface of the river
  10. blue, cloud-free sky

No music blasting from bikes, no Doppler effect, no sirens, no stinky trash or sewer smells, no geese, no darting squirrels, no turkeys, no Dave the Daily Walker. No chafing (my old running bra was scratchy me up — lots of small cuts and little scars, but no bleeding), no unfinished business, no bathroom or water stops. No thoughts, no lines of poetry popping into my head, no epiphanies, no problems solved. No yelling, no getting irritated, no sliding kneecaps. No goldenrod, no swarming gnats, nobody calling out encouragement. Just me and legs and lungs and hips and river.

sept 22/RUN

20 miles
bde maka ska and back*
52 degrees

*river road, south/minnehaha falls/minnehaha creek path — past lake hiawatha, lade nokomos, the bunny/lake harriet/william berry parkway/bde maka ska and back

20 miles! The first half of it was fine, then I had some unfinished business and no porta potty for miles. I had to wait 3, or was it 4?, miles before I reached one at lake harriet. Then I went to another one at bde maka ska. I should have returned to the lake harriet one again before heading out into the porta potty dead zone, but I didn’t. Soon, it was difficult to run, so I did more walking than running for the rest of the time. Finally at the lake nokomis pickleball courts, another porta potty! As I waited to use it, I appreciated how lively and crowded it was: packed pickleball courts and playground. It’s great to see people using the park so much. In terms of the unfinished business, why is it such a problem? It is the cliff blocks I’m taking every 3 miles?

I listened to a cozy murder mystery — The Marlow Murder Club — which seems like a pale imitation of the Thursday Murder Club, but was a good distraction. I took out my headphones between the bunny and lake harriet and listened to the creek and a wailing kid.

20 Things

  1. sparkling river water through the trees
  2. heard, not seen — laughing kids across the creek — joyful exuberance
  3. minnehaha creek — first calm and flat, then bubbling, then gushing
  4. the path by nokomis, which was closed for the summer, has reopened — no more running on sharp gravel!
  5. early, around 8:30, the pickleball court was already filled
  6. a few barks from a dog, then a strange, terrible whining noise that I think (hope) was a machine and not an animal
  7. a hopping squirrel — so graceful and fast, moving across the shaded grass
  8. 2 adults, an upset kid, and a stroller under the bridge
  9. more slashes of red, but not much color anywhere else
  10. heard, not seen — more laughin exuberant kids playing at the creek at the spot where the tall, pedestrian bridge crosses over to the other side of the creek
  11. lake harriet was crowded — difficult to dodge walkers with dogs coming both ways
  12. a beach with no buoys, an empty lifeguard’s chair
  13. a woman adjusting her hiking poles, almost whacking me with them
  14. taking william berry parkway to reach bde make ska, running down a steep hill
  15. a striking contrast: waving blue water with bright green grass
  16. images of butterflies imprinted in the sidewalk
  17. a honking noise, sounding like a big ship — what was that?
  18. a flotilla of sailboats, all with white sails
  19. a real bunny hopping through the grass / a bronze bunny beside the creek path trail
  20. a single, small leaf, floating under the duck bridge as I crossed it

20 miles was difficult and uncomfortable, but not terrible. I can definitely go farther in 2 weeks. During the last mile, I kept smiling, proud of myself for what I was accomplishing and how far I’ve come since getting injured during marathon training in 2017.

sept 17/RUN

5 miles
bottom of franklin turn around
70 degrees / dew point: 63

So much sweat! The bill of my cap, the end of my ponytail, the tip of my nose dripping before I finished the first mile. Ran 3 without stopping, then walked until my heart rate was down to 135. Started running again to the metronome at 175 and finished with my winter playlist — time for a new playlist!

I liked running to the metronome (through my headphones, from the metronome/tuner app on my phone). I was able to match my foot strikes with the beat fairly quickly, but it took a few minutes for it to lock in. When that happened, I could feel the transformation from the edge of the beat (just before or after it) to the deep center of it. My foot strike seemed different, more solid and strong. The beat sounded different, less generic and more connected to a physical source (my foot). And I felt different, inside the beat, no longer a body but that steady clicking sound. Very cool.

It’s not quite the same, but I’m thinking of myself as Annie Dillard’s bell being struck. Also, Emily Dickinson and these lines:

As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race,
Wrecked, solitary, here –

10 Things

  1. slashes of red in the bushes
  2. a pinkish-orangish clump of leaves
  3. almost all green in the floodplain forest
  4. a shimmering circle of light: the sun on the river through a gap in the trees
  5. a steady stream of commuting cars
  6. mostly overcast, with occasional sun, enough sun for me to see my shadow as I walked home
  7. at the beginning of my run, a for sale sign in a front yard, by the end of my run, it was gone
  8. running down franklin, the trees were a yellowish green
  9. at least one roller skier — maybe 2, unless it was the same skier
  10. the bright, generous smile of a woman walking past me

Yesterday, I came across this cool poetry project, The BardCode Project:

In the BardCode Project Gregory Betts has analysed and mapped the rhyme patterns within Shakespeare’s 154 sonnets. Shakespeare built his famous sonnets by a unique sound pattern of rhymes in the final syllable, the tenth column, of each line. Betts asks, and answers, the question: What was Shakespeare doing in the rest of the sonnet?

The BardCode project maps out the full sound pattern of rhymes in all ten columns across all of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Colour coding these sound-codes results in a visual text rich with the sonic patterns of the poems. Suddenly, for the first time, you can see the BardCode.

BardCode Projects

sept 8/RUN

18 miles
river road / minnehaha creek / lake harriet / lake nokomis / minnehaha falls
56 degrees

18 miles! I’m tired now, but it wasn’t terrible and I felt good for much of it. The last 4 miles were harder, but not impossible. When I finished, I felt like that was all I could do, but I know I’ll be able to do more when I run my 20 miler in a few weeks. My average pace was 75 seconds faster per mile than last week during my 16 miler. Nice!

While I ran, I listened to Death on the Nile. Almost 3 1/2 hours of it and the main character hadn’t even died yet! Well, her body was just about to be discovered when I turned it off at the end of my run. Maybe I’ll listen to the rest of it on my 20 miler?

I think this is the first time I’ve run all the way to Lake Harriet since I was training for the marathon in 2017. As I ran, I thought about how grateful I am to be still running and to have another chance to run the marathon. It’s taken 7 years, and almost 7000 miles, to get here. Wow!

18 Things

  1. a crowded trail, with lots of runners and 2 roller skiers, under the ford bridge and nearing the falls
  2. creak creak creak — the sound of the wood on the duck bridge as I ran over it
  3. several dogs barking frantically on the other side of the creek
  4. the bronze bunny — no scarf or t-shirt or anything on it today
  5. a rushing, high creek at one spot, a calm sparkling creek at another
  6. passing over the creek on a tall bridge, looking down at the rushing water
  7. hearing some kids laughing on the other side of the creek, crossing and bridge and seeing them jumping around
  8. loud cheers at Lake Harriet — a running race — decided to turn around early to avoid it
  9. a person sitting on the wall of the weir near lake nokomis, fishing
  10. 2 more people fishing on the shore of the lake nokomis — one in a portable chair, the other on a cement bench
  11. a paddle boarder in the water just off the little beach
  12. giant images of monarch butterflies on the pickleball fence for yesterday’s monarch festival
  13. view from cedar bridge — lake nokomis in a blue shimmer
  14. a young kid on a bike, waiting at the top of the hill near 28th. after I passed by, he called out to his friend, it’s clear now, you can go!
  15. running over gravel near nokomis avenue, my foot striking down on a sharp rock — ouch!
  16. encountering 2 surreys near 38th
  17. an event — maybe sponsored by Friends of the Mississippi River? — at the welcoming oaks. there were tents and people and signs and (maybe) ice cream
  18. after finishing my run I could hear drums playing across the road at the welcoming oaks

added an hour later: I just remembered the sound of the wind in the trees. In certain stretches, it sounded like water falling. Briefly I wondered, is that wind or water, but then I noticed that where I was there wasn’t any water that would make the noise. No falls or ravines or seeps. A beautiful, comforting, calming sound, that wind!

sept 2/RUN

16 miles
lake nokomis — 2 loops / minnehaha park / ford bridge
60 degrees

16 miles! My longest run ever, I was slow, it was difficult, I walked a lot, but I did it. Ran over to Lake Nokomis and around it twice, then took minnehaha creek path to the falls park all the way to the fort snelling trail. Turned around, ran over to the Veterans home, through Waibun, over the ford bridge, up to the overlook, then back over ford.

For the first hour, I listened to the gorge, the creek, the lake, and people I encountered. For the rest of it, I listened to an audiobook — Anthony Horowitz’s Close to Death. One of the characters in it is named Andrew Pennington and it took me several miles to pay enough attention to process that and realize that it was a reference to “Uncle Andrew” — Andrew Pennington in Agatha Christie’s Death on the Nile.

16 Things

  1. at one spot, the creek was bubbling, burbling, gurgling
  2. at another spot, it was rushing and gushing
  3. and at a third spot, it was glittering in the sunlight
  4. a small yippy dog across the creek — heard, not seen, so I guess it could have been big but it sounded small (and annoying) — losing its shit for a minute — yip yip yip yip yip
  5. a fishy smell at the lake that was surprisingly pleasant — smelled like summer or vacation
  6. the lake water was blue and flat and empty
  7. encountering another runner with her dog on the creek path — she called it, What are you training for? me: the marathon her: good luck!
  8. the pickle ball court was full — thwack! thwack! thwack!
  9. from the cedar bridge the water was smooth with just one bright spot from the sun
  10. one kayak gliding across
  11. a group with fishing poles, kindly waiting for me to pass before crossing the path
  12. crossing the parkway under the mustache bridge, avoiding where the asphalt had erupted — huge, ankle-twisting craters
  13. the flowers at Longfellow Gardens! Orange, pink, yellow, red, soft green! Wow
  14. Waibun park was full of Labor Day visitors — at picnic tables, the splash pad, on the playground
  15. heading down the short hill between ford and the locks and dam no. 1 — the few patches of light were glowing . . . pink — 14 miles into my run, was I hallucinating? No — the light must have been filtering through some reddening leaves
  16. 2 women with dogs, stopping and kindly waiting for me to pass before crossing the narrow duck bridge

It was crowded on the trails, but I only remember how kind people were. Waiting for me to pass, not hogging the path, calling out encouragement.

Like I mentioned above, my pace was slow — over 12 minutes/mile, but that’s fine with me. The marathon is not about time, but pushing through and proving I can keep going when it seems too tough.

Recently read:

I feel like poetry is going on all the time inside, an underground stream.

John Ashbery

I’d like to do something with this idea of the underground stream, especially in relation to daylighting — the process of bringing streams buried in concrete and under city infrastructure back into the light.

added, 3 sept 2024: I forgot until today something else I’d like to remember — seeing steam coming off of my face, looking like my breath, the combination of sun, humidity, a warm body, and cool air (I think)