Tag: love

march 1/GETOUTICE

March? March! We’ve made it to March, and March, as I told FWA last night, is a spring month. Weather-wise it will still be winter in Minnesota for 1 or 2 more months, but March is in spring.

Bunny Ears / Rabbit Ears

All of this rabbit exploration is fun and wonderfully distracting. I thought I’d start out today with ears. Last night, I made a note in my Plague Notebook 271: Liam’s bunny ears, Louise’s bunny ears, rabbit ears on top of a tv.

1 — Liam Conejo Ramos and the bunny ears

A widely shared photograph of 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos has come to represent ICE’s “Operation Metro Surge” in Minnesota. 

The boy is wearing a knit bunny hat complete with floppy white ears, while an ICE agent stands behind him and pulls slightly on his Spider-Man backpack. 

There have been conflicting stories about how Liam and his father, Adrian Conejo Arias, were detained by ICE at their Columbia Heights home. The differing versions pit local school officials and observers on the scene against federal immigration agencies. 

Mother of Liam Conejo Ramos / ICE detains 5 year old

The conflicting story here is that school officials and observers claim that little Liam was detained by ICE on his walk home from school and used as bait to get his family to open the door. ICE agents claim his father abandoned him as he fled, and that they were protecting him from the cold. Even though there were many adults who could have and wanted to take custody of Liam, ICE took him and his dad and sent them to Texas concentration camp.

In the twin cities and around the world, people were outraged by these actions and moved by the photo with the bunny ears. One example: activists have been crocheting the hat and spreading the pattern online for others to crochet too:

“[Liam] is one of many, but his sweet bunny hat has become an enduring symbol for those of us who oppose the cruelty of this administration and the unchecked violence being perpetrated against our neighbors. There are a lot of tears woven into this silly bunny hat,” the crocheter wrote on social media.

If you want to make your own hat, I think that would be amazing. I would love to see a line of protesters wearing bunny hats, or like-minded individuals putting love out into the world.”

Crocheters make blue bunny hats to honor Liam Conejo Ramos

2 — Louise Belcher and her Bunny Ears

The youngest Belcher on Bob’s Burgers always wears pink bunny ears. Why? Apparently it is explained in the movie, which RJP has been trying to get us to watch for more than a year. I guess we should. Another thing to watch: the episode in which the bunny ears are stolen, “Ear-sy Rider.” Okay, I found the clip on Youtube:

Louise and the bunny ears

In the example of Liam, the bunny ears represent vulnerability — Liam as little and innocent and the ICE actions as a terrible violation. What do they represent for Louise? I’ll have to watch more of the Bob’s Burgers movie to understand that, but it seems like she thinks they represent vulnerability and weakness — she’s thinks she wears them because she’s not brave — but they actually represent a quirkiness she shares with her grandmother. That’s what I got from the clip; I’ll have to wach more of the movie to get a better understanding.

3 — rabbit ears as tv antenna

When I think of rabbit ears, I think of the little antennas2 you put on top of your tv when you don’t have cable. We still have a pair for our upstairs tv.

Marvin P. Middlemark (September 16, 1919 – September 14, 1989) invented the Rabbit Ears television antenna (dipole antenna) in 1953 in Rego Park, Queens, New York. Marvin P. Middlemark revolutionized how television was watched in the United States, as his Rabbit Ears increased the television signal reception made available to the mass market; this move is considered by many as the single most important reason for the television boom of the late 1950s – 1960s.

fandom

4 – rabbit ears — how rabbits hear

Reading about rabbit hearing, I found these two little sad sentences —

The outer ear, known as the pinna, is very different because rabbits need to rely more on their hearing to detect predators. Domestic rabbits can suffer from hearing problems due to selective breeding for a ‘cute’ look.

Hearing in Rabbits

— and this delightful image —

The outer ear also acts as a radiator: rabbits can’t sweat like we do, or pant like dogs, so regulate their temperature by pumping blood into their ears.

Some other things I read about rabbit ears: rabbits can swivel their ears; rabbit ears are kept up by interlocking cartilage, some rabbits can’t keep their ears up because they have a gap in the cartilage (called lopping, and the floppy eared rabbits are called lops); according to a study, rabbits like chill classical music, soft new age, and probably Kenny G (ugh!).

a few more rabbit ears: putting your fingers up in the dark and creating bunny ears with the shadow; doing “bunny ears” as you sing “Little Bunny Foo Foo”; the They Might Be Giant’s refrain, hammer down / rabbit ears, in their song “Rabid Child”

bunny ear silhouette

Writing this last bit I wondered, are the ears the defining shape of a rabbit silhouette? Yes, I think so. Those ears are very distinctive and particular to the animal. The distinctive quality of this shape returns me to my vision: To identify/recognize things, I often rely on their silhouette and its most distinctive features. All I need to see are those two ears and I can tell, rabbit. Now, that’s true for drawings of rabbits, is it true in recognizing them in my yard? I’m not so sure. I’ll have to think about that some more — maybe try to notice what I see when I see something in the yard and think, rabbit (or more likely, bunny).

  1. Just a few more pages to fill before I’m onto vol. 28. I’ve been filling these up since just as the pandemic began, hence the name, the Plague Notebook. ↩︎
  2. Doing some more digging on antennas, I discovered that rabbit ears are used for VHF channels, while a loop and bowtie antennas are for UHF. VHF = longer distances / UHF = better quality ↩︎

a found poem experiment/practice

At any given time, I have A LOT of ideas for experiments buzzing around in my head. Many of them make it into this log as things I’d like to try. Some of them, I try. And a few of them become a dedicated experiment, then a monthly project, then an obsession, then a poem or a series of poems or something even bigger. I rarely predict what will stick and what won’t, and when that might happen. I like living in geologic time — slow and long. Working on something for five or more years is not unusual!

For several months, the idea of doing more erasures has been buzzing around. The recent fascination started with my discovery of Lisa Olstein’s latest collection, Distinguished Office of Echoes — I checked; I discovered it on 20 dec 2025. I should archive all of this (this = discussions, links, ideas, quotes) on one page soon, when I have time. Since that rediscovery, I’ve been thinking about found poems — centos, erasures, white-out, cut-outs, which led to do my series of found love poems about love in the time of (ICE) occupation. Yesterday I mentioned erasure poems again in my Plague Notebook, and this morning I happened upon (following a rabbit search — rabbit Marie Howe — down a rabbit hole) a found poem collection by Annie Dillard. I’ve already requested it from the library!

Last night, a problem: I’d like to do more erasures and try cut-ups, but almost all of the text I find/use is online. What can I do about that? My first solution before going to bed: I should go to thrift stores, used book stores and buy cheap and old used books. My second thought during the purple hour: go to the basement and find that box of old books that I haven’t had time to donate yet. My third thought while down in the basement when I couldn’t find the box: look through the kids’ old books, especially the crappy paperbacks. And my latest thought after gathering some books and as I walked up the stairs: use the ridiculously tall stack of old New Yorkers on the bookcase in the front room! So, that is what I hope to do. I’d like to make it a daily practice — as inspired by Mary Ruefle and her erasure practice. I think I’ll start with the New Yorkers because I have more of them, and once I’m more practiced, I might move onto the books. It’s the first day of March, so I’d like to make this my March challenge.

the preliminary rules for week one: pick (randomly?) 2 pages from the New Yorker, read them several times, then use them to write a sentence or a short poem — link them with dots, lines, and arrows.

Get Out Ice

In the middle of the night, scrolling through Instagram, I found out about the Kaleidoscope of Love Art Mobilization. It happened yesterday afternoon at Powderhorn Park. I wish I would have known about it; I would have tried to go and be a part of it.

YOU are invited to participate in a choreographed movement of more than a thousand people holding colored placards to the sky to create a gigantic open-winged butterfly, surrounded by poetry and choral singing.

Kaleidoscope of Love is a celebration of you; of Minneapolis and Saint Paul; of neighbors who check in, deliver groceries, shovel sidewalks, walk kids to school and friends to work, sing, march, and offer comfort and care. We invite you to celebrate our city at Powderhorn Park in South Minneapolis to lift that spirit of community into the sky, forming a living butterfly in a joyful, shimmering mosaic of color, co-created by you, your neighbors, family and friends.

Lowry Hill Neighborhood (found this action here before finding the project site)

Kaleidoscope of Love was designed the public artist, Christopher Lutter-Gardella. Wow! He also created a giant heart for We Defend the Heart, among many other public art installations/mobilizations.

feb 18/RUNGETOUTICE

It is 1:30 pm. It is sometimes raining, sometimes snowing, and is all-the-time windy. It is also 32 degrees. But the pavement is bare and it might not be this clear for a few days because we are supposed to get some more snow. Should I go out for a short run when I have the chance? Or, are the conditions too crappy, my left knee too sore? Future Sara will let us know! Sara from 2:47: I did it! I went out for a run in this blustery weather!

3.3 miles
river road, south/north/neighborhood, south
31 degrees / feels like 17 / snow
wind: 25 mph gusts

Not the best conditions, but I’m glad I went outside. I started by running south on the river road trail, but it was tough. I was running straight into the wind and stabbing snowflakes. I turned around at the Rachel Dow Memorial Bench, then turned off the river road and onto Lena Smith Boulevard at 32nd. I was plannng to do some hills but the road was blocked off. Instead, I meandered through the neighborhood.

I encountered one other runner, at least one fat tire. Any walkers? I can’t remember. It was difficult to see what was ahead of me. Snow was thick in the air and I pulled the visor of my cap down low to block it. If I saw the river, I don’t remember what it looked like. When I turned around to head north again, it was much easier and more fun. The snow was swirling in front of my face, looking like white confetti or bits of styrofoam. It wasn’t as cool, but it reminded me of the scene at the men’s Free Ski Big Air final that Scott and I watched last night. The sky was black, the heavy snow was illuminated by the bright lights of the venue. I remember admiring it and wishing it would snow here again so I could run through it. Well, the snow today wasn’t nearly as heavy as what I saw on the tv, but it was still delightful. It will probably be a slippery nightmare tomorrow, but today it was fun!

Lisel Mueller!

I’ve posted several poems by Lisel Mueller over the years: When I Am Asked/ Lisel Mueller, The Blind Leading The Blind/ Lisel Mueller, Sometimes, When the Light/ Lisel Mueller, Things/ Lisel Mueller, and Monet Refuses the Operation/ Lisel Mueller. But, I’ve never checked out any of her collections until now. Yesterday I picked up Alive Together: New and Selected Poems / Lisel Mueller. I started at the beginning, and stopped when I found this poem:

Losing My Sight / Lisel Mueller

I never knew that by August
the birds are practically silent,
only a twitter here and there.
Now I notice. Last spring
their noisiness taught me the difference
between screamers and whistlers and cooers
and O, the coloraturas.
I have already mastered the subtlest pitches in our cat’s
elegant Chinese. As the river
turns muddier before my eyes,
its sighs and little smacks
grow louder. Like a spy,
I pick up things indiscriminately:
the long approach of a truck,
car doors slammed in the dark,
the night life of animals—shrieks and hisses,
sex and plunder in the garage.
Tonight the crickets spread static
across the air, a continuous rope
of sound extended to me,
the perfect listener.

coloratura = elaborate ornamentation of a vocal melody, especially in operatic singing by a soprano.

I imagined that Mueller knew something about vision loss when I read her, “Monet Refuses the Operation” a few years ago, but I didn’t know that for the last 20 years of her life (she died in 2020), she was losing her vision and couldn’t read. I found out about that while reading this interview, “Slightly Larger Than Life Size“:

Mueller speaks always in a steady, gentle tone—even when describing the death of her beloved husband, Paul Mueller, in 2001 or the partial loss of vision she has suffered over the last 20 years. “I’m blind for reading, really,” she explains plainly, almost as if she were describing someone else. “I use an enlarging machine. And I have two friends who come read to me.” 

Mueller also no longer writes, in part because of her diminishing vision. She treats this circumstance with the same tough realism—compellingly at odds with the ethereal nature of her poetry—as the other hardships in her life. “I do miss writing,” she replies when asked the obvious question. “But I simply don’t have the images coming to me anymore that would start a poem. The language no longer flows. I would have to force it and come up with some artificial things, and that’s not my way. I’m someone who has learned to put up with things as they are. Because of the blindness, because of what happened to my husband, because of leaving the country that I was born in and coming here—I accommodate myself.”

Slightly Larger Than Life Size

I accommodate myself. Love that line! A title for a poem, I think. I wouldn’t say I put up with things; rather, I adapt and find new ways to be, to see. I like the line about not forcing it and coming up with artificial things. I agree.

In my imagined poem titled, “I accommodate myself,” I might start it with a line from Mueller’s “Losing My Sight”: I never knew . . . . / Now I notice. Maybe I should make a list of all of things I’ve noticed since my vision began declining?

The perfect listener. Reading this line, I immediately thought of Ed Bok Lee’s line in “Halos“:

That visual impairment improves hearing,
taste, smell, touch is mostly myth.

I do notice things much more than I did before my vision loss; I’ve made it a big part of writing/attention practice. I’ve devoted many runs to listening or smelling or feeling the various textures. So, being a good listener didn’t just happen because my vision declined; I worked for it. Yet, even as I’m noticing more with my ears, I do also seem to struggle to hear what people are saying to me. So much so that I asked for my hearing to be checked at my last appointment. It was fine. So, what’s happening? Why do I need more time to process what people are saying, or need to ask them to repeat it? FWA thinks I might have an audio processing disorder — something one of his favorite Youtubers has. Possibly. I think it has more to do with how people use visual cues — gestures, their surroundings — to convey the meaning of their speech. People with normal sight don’t realize how much they are relying on vision when they speak and they don’t recognize how that impacts people who cannot see the things that they are referencing. I find this frustrating and also fascinating to think about how we our senses work together.

One more thing about Mueller’s poem. I’d like to memorize it. There are too many wonderful lines that I don’t want to forget.

Sharing the Love

I have not given much any attention to building an audience here or on social media and, as a result, no one is seeing/responding/sharing my love poems. It is probably also because of the algorithm. Scott suggested that I put the link in the first comment and post a picture of a dog. It’s time for me to think again about if I want a bigger audience. Actually, the better question is: how can I reach people with my work? For me, it’s less about a big audience, more about finding ways to share what I’m doing and connect with others. Experiment time! The goal for me is not a bigger audience, but finding ways to contribute and connect. Hmm . . . I’ll have to think about it some more.

a few minutes later: As a first step, I’ve decided to try sharing my love poems again on Facebook. I put the link in the first comment and posted a photo, not of a dog, but of this Valentine that Scott noticed in the bathroom at Arbeiter Brewing:

Valentine, I’m falling for you & hoping the system does, too.

Also, I posted the STOP ICE photo that I posted here yesterday on my Instagram.

Maybe one of the biggest reasons I’m not sharing on social media is because it’s hard for me to do it with my bad vision. Everything takes so much longer and I can’t always see when I’ve made a mistake. And, I’ve been self-conscious about posting photos that I imagine are poorly cropped or framed strangely. Time to get over that.

Get Out Ice

Seen on a bathroom door at Arbeiter Brewing:

sickers on a bathroom door at Arbeiter

feb 17/RUNGETOUTICE

4.3 miles
minnehaha park and back
47 degrees
wind: 13 mph / 32 mph gusts

Warm, but windy, which made it feel colder, but only sometimes. The rest of the time it felt warm. Warm enough for bare arms. My left knee was a bit stiff and sore. Maybe I should take a break from running tomorrow.

overheard as I ran near Minnehaha Academy: a whistle blowing, then an adult voice — Okay fourth graders! I guess recess is over.

10 Things

  1. at least 2 runners were wearing shorts
  2. all of the walkers were bundled up in coats and hats and long pants
  3. open water!? I think the ice has fully cracked on the surface of the river, but it could just be much thinner in parts. Looking down at it, there were blobs of white, with larger stretches of pale grayish, blueish, greenish
  4. the falls were gushing behind thick ice columns
  5. voices below — an adult with several kids — were they hiking behind the falls?
  6. a police vehicle parked sideways in the parking lot at 44th
  7. the cobblestones near the falls overlook were all ice-free, but not puddle-free! squish squish squish
  8. more of the walking path is clear and open — a few clumps of snow, wet and shiny pavement, grit
  9. an old pick-up truck was parked under the ford bridge, up on the sidewalk across the road from the trail — was it hiding — if so, why and from whom?
  10. the walking half of the double bridge was covered in slushy snow, the bike half was mostly clear with a deep puddle in the middle

I decided that I would listen to music for the second half of my run. Because it was windy, I put on my “It’s Windy” playlist. The first song: Sailing / Christopher Cross The last song was the sound of birds chirping. Huh? Oh — checked the title of the track: “Breeze (forest)”

Get Out Ice

When FWA got home from his errand this morning, he told me that all of the Stop signs in the neighborhood have a stenciled “ICE” under the “STOP” in a matching font. Of course I had to check and take a picture!

STOP ICE

I’m not sure how long these signs have been this way. I hadn’t noticed, but I don’t drive, so I rarely see the stop signs. I wondered how long it took someone/someones to do this? I hope the city leaves them alone.

added, 18 feb 2026: Three notes from Scott. First, as we drove to the library, Scott and I noticed more stop signs with “ICE” and some without. Scott guessed that this stop ice action was probably not that systematic. Second, he also pointed out that it is not a stencil, but a sticker. Would I be able to notice that if I got close enough? I’ll have to take a walk today and check. And third, Scott informed me that these stickers have been on stop signs for several weeks.

Love

I finished my love poems. I decided to call it, We Love, We Love, We Love, We Love. I posted it on instagram, facebook, and as the home page of my author site: sarapuotinen.com

feb 16/RUNGETOUTICE

4.05 miles
river road, north/south
51 degrees
50% sloppy

51 degrees! Another run with bare arms. Lots of puddles, but also lots of dry path. I was able to run on the walking path for long stretches. The surface of the river has cracked — no open water yet, but patches of thinner ice in light gray were scattered all over. A bike passed by blasting music: “Losing my Religion” by REM. I heard some kids’ voices at a playground before I reached the river. Saw/heard an ambulance rumble by on the river road, its LOUD siren freaking out all the nearby dogs. Near the end, recited Alice Oswald’s “A Story of Falling” as I ran — in my head, not out loud. Also near the end, heard the bells of St. Thomas chime twice — it’s 2:00 already? Wow.

I stopped to walk several times, often because I had become trapped on a part of the path that was suddenly blocked by a short wall of snow or a deep puddle. One of the stops was at a bench nearing Franklin that I have delighted in noticing before. It is dedicated to “Margaret Carlson, Dog Lover.” Today I remembered to take a picture of it!

“She cherished her girls; Schnapps, Candy, Maggie, Mitzi and Suzi*”

*yes, it should be a colon, not a semi-colon, but who cares; I’d rather give my attention to the fact that one of her “girls” is named Schnapps, and another, Candy!

I’m not sure if I’ve written this yet, but I’d like to remember: when I go out running now, I carry a whistle and my passport ID card. And I don’t listen to any music, so I can be better aware of what’s happening around me.

Get Out Ice

I am almost finished with my collection of love poems. Here’s the final poem, which is an erasure of a Facebook statement by Carbone’s Pizzeria on Cedar near Lake Nokomis:

This New Normal / 15 February 2026

This New Normal

We are with you. We love you.
love Always.
We Love
We Love
We Love
We Love
this new normal together,
love

feb 13/RUNGETOUTICE

3 miles
locks and dam #1 and back
46 degrees!
75% sloppy

Okay first false spring! So many less layers today: running tights, shorts, short-sleeved shirt, pull-over, cap. No gloves or long sleeved base layers or coats or buffs. And, by the end of the run, I took off my outer layer and was walking back with bare arms. Nice! I’ve told the kids for years, whenever they wonder how they can make it through the long winter, once you get through January, it always warms up for a few days around Valentine’s Day. And, like it usually does, it warmed up right around Valentine’s Day!

I felt good during my run. Happy, strong, able to run through moments of wanting to stop. I wasn’t able to avoid puddles though. Squish squish squish. Soaked socks.

10 Things

  1. patch-work surface below: white and pale blue — will the ice split before it gets cold again?
  2. birds! sounding excited for spring
  3. deep puddles everywhere — they were particularly bad on the double bridge, I had to grab onto the wooden railing and climb around them
  4. a car passed me twice blasting some music that sounded like enya
  5. encountered lots of runners — were any wearing shorts? I can’t remember
  6. drip drip drip
  7. the sun was reflecting off of the water on the path, everything was shiny and bright
  8. at least one or two fat tires
  9. a few walkers in bright yellow vests
  10. the grassy boulevard was a combination of mushy snow, very slick snow, and grass, and mud

When I reached the locks and dam #1, I ran halfway down the hill and stopped to record a thought, and some false spring sounds:

False spring / 23 feb 2026

restless / still

At my annual check-up a week ago, I told my cnp that my legs were restless and I was waking up several times a night (which has been the case for a decade now, I think). She ordered a blood test for my ferritin. Yep — very low: 16; she wants it to be at least 40. So, iron pills for a month, another test, then maybe iron transfusions. This description is for future Sara who likes to remember these things, and present Sara who imagines a future Sara that will. This description is also prompted by two references to stillness in my “on this day posts” from past years. In 2021 I posted a passage from an audiobook I was listening to, Wintering:

There are gaps in the mesh of the everyday world and sometimes they open up and you fall through into somewhere else. Somewhere else runs at a different pace to the here and now where everyone else carries on. Somewhere else is where ghosts live, concealed from view and only glimpsed by people in the real world. Somewhere else exists at a delay so that you can’t quite keep pace. Perhaps I was already resting on the brink of somewhere else anyway, but now I fell through as simply and discretely as dust shifting through the floorboards. I was surprised to find I felt at home there. Winter had begun. Everybody winters at one time or another. Some winter over and over again. Wintering is a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you’re cut off from the world, feeling rejected, side-lined, blocked from progress or cast into the role of an outsider.

Wintering / Katherine May

Here stillness = a lack of movement, frozen in the cold, removed from the action. Reading this passage again, I’m not so sure that I think of stillness, but when I read it a few minutes ago, and then read a line from Elizabeth Bishop, I thought, still. Here’s the line from Elizabeth Bishop’s poem, “Five Flights Up”:

Still dark.

When I read this brief line, I thought about how much I like that still can mean more than one thing at a time. Still dark = it is still dark, the dark continues, it is too early for light, we continue to be in the time/place of not-yet-day. And, still dark = it is quiet, there is a lack of movement, everything is still and dark, nothing moves and nothing can be seen.

Maybe I should spend some time studying Bishop? I have read several of her poems, even studying one more closely — The End of March on 30 march 2023. And now I’m thinking of Jorie Graham and studying her, or finally writing a poem about being still and restless? And all of this makes me think, again, of a film still, a photograph, an image frozen — my “how I see” project!

Get Out Ice

Thinking again about today’s false spring weather. FWA asked how many false springs I thought we’d have before it was warm for good and I said, I wasn’t sure but that I knew it would get very cold again. The earliest spring has stayed is the end of March. I added, no one believes that this warm-up will stay, that we’ve made it through winter. What this warm up does it reminds us that a world beyond winter is possible, which is easy to forget when we’re in the deep of it. This feels like a metaphor for ICE’s leaving of Minnesota. It’s not over, they’re not really leaving. No one here believes that. But this withdrawal of troops does signal a victory and demonstrates that a world beyond ICE beyond Trump is possible.

Love

I’m working on the introduction to my love, minnesota-style chapbook. Since I’m a little stuck, I tried to think about it as I ran. A sentence popped into my head, and I recorded in the middle of the run: “Words don’t merely describe something, they do something.” And I added, and I’m particularly interested in what these words did/do to me, to others here in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

feb 12/RUNGETOUTICE!?!

5.4 miles
bottom for franklin and back
41 degrees
40% puddles

Puddles everywhere. After about a mile, I could hear the squish sound of my wet sock with every foot strike. Who cares? Not me. I’m happy for warmer weather and clearer paths. I wasn’t sure how far I’d run, but I just kept going and made it to the bottom of the franklin hill. First I was going to stop at the trestle, then I wanted to make it a little closer to Franklin. When I reached Franklin, I looked down at the uneven, cracking ice on the river’s surface and decided I needed to run to the flats to get a closer inspection. Very cool — cold (temp) and aesthetic (strange and interesting and other-worldly).

I heard birds, felt warm sun on my face, smelled sewer gas (below, near the rowing club), saw a woman biking in a tank top.

Get Out Ice!?!

The official word, announced this morning by Homan, is that ICE is leaving Minnesota and Operation Metro Surge is over. But, is it over, or just taking more hidden forms? And was this move made primarily to get the budget passed and/or ease the pressure being applied in D.C.? Whatever the case, it does seem to be a failure for the Trump administration and it also seems to be bullshit. They are staying and will continue doing bad (as in unconstitutional, terrible) things here and all around the country.

love

While all that I wrote in the last paragraph seems to be true — and scary and difficult to imagine and endure — something else is true: people are speaking out, resisting, caring for each other, paying attention, reclaiming democracy, organizing together, refusing to be intimidated or overwhelmed by the administration’s tactics. Will this stop ICE or Trump? Maybe not, but whatever happens, the love that has been expressed/practiced in Minneapolis for the past 2 months isn’t going away and too many of us have witnessed what it has cracked open that can’t be fully fixed by the administration. There is another world possible.

feb 11/RUNGETOUTICE

4.5 miles
minnehaha falls and back
35 degrees
15% sloppy

Sun! Above freezing! Melting and melted snow! And I think I remember hearing chirping birds somewhere. Plus, the falls were faintly falling! Today’s run felt much better than yesterday’s. I felt stronger and calmer and more capable of handling everything — running included.

10 Things

  1. two benches at the park were occupied, one near Sea Salt and one just across the road from the Longfellow House
  2. a low, dull whine coming from the indoor ice rink at Minneahaha Academy
  3. the gentle curve of the retaining wall wrapped around the ravine between 42nd and 44th, covered in white
  4. much of the snow near the bench above the edge of the world was melted — the bench was empty, the river was white
  5. a few cars in the parking lots at the falls
  6. two people standing on the path at the edge of the falls looking up at something — but what?
  7. 2 fat tires
  8. a man and a dog emerging from a snow-covered trail, climbing a snow bank and then crossing the road
  9. a long honk from a car across turkey hollow
  10. the soft sound and the slide-y feel of my feet striking the grit on the path

As I ran, I thought about my low ferritin and wondered what impact it has made on my running. Is it why I struggle to run more than 4 or 5 miles at a time? Then I imagined how much better my running might be after a few months of taking the iron pills my np (nurse practitioner) prescribed for me.

Here in Minnesota, we have a few months (if we’re lucky!) before it’s spring, but it sure feels like it today. In honor of that feeling, here’s a Mary Oliver poem I just discovered in my recently purchased Little Alleluias:

A Settlement / Mary Oliver

Look, it’s spring. And last year’s loose dust has turned
into this soft willingness. The wind-flowers have come
up trembling, slowly the brackens are up-lifting their
curvaceous and pale bodies. The thrushes have come
home, none less than filled with mystery, sorrow,
happiness, music, ambition.

And I am walking out into all of this with nowhere to
go and no task undertaken but to turn the pages of
this beautiful world over and over, in the world of my
mind.

***

Therefore, dark past,
I’m about to do it.
I’m about to forgive you

for everything.

I love this poem! To turn the pages of this beautiful world, to forgive the dark past, to declare, I’m about to do it in a poem. I want to borrow that line.

Get Out Ice

An IRL friend shared a post on Facebook with some wise words about care and love. The whole post is great, but here’s an excerpt that explicitly discusses care and another form of love: relational humility and the de-centering of needs/desires

So beloved white women kin, please let us watch each other. If you see this happening, please turn towards our kin and ask them to hold a contradiction with you: we need the efforts and care that are being brought forth, this strategy that uses our privileges to build things that are needed but, at the same time, and with the greatest of humility, we have to recognize that we carry within us deeply rooted survival needs that are about our own comfort and centering; our desire to feel and be seen as valuable and worthy. And because those needs are deeply rooted, we often don’t see them when they crop up, although others do. Which is why practicing relational humility rather than defensiveness is key to this moment.

Link arms with each other and say, hey, while we are doing this work, let’s check each other on what we are bringing to it. Who else are we in relationship with? How are we checking our actions against something other than the minds of other white women? Is there anyone else doing the same thing or something similar and can we help them rather than start something new? Is there a part of us doing this thing because we have an image of ourselves as brave and selfless, a kind of inner hero narrative? Come on, loves, tell the truth. Where are we holding on to control rather than care, feeling a sense of ownership to our work that we are attached to, expressing false humility when we actually want the attention, and believing that we know what is best for whatever moment we are in? Are we trying to build an empire or just a moment for the people nearest to us, people we want to create safe? Loves, beloveds, there are a number of white women engaging in empire building right now, even though it is called care.

Raffo Susan

there are a number of white woman engaging in empire building right now, even though it is called care.

love

I have written 14 love poems using words/lines/phrases from the social media statements of local businesses. For Valentine’s Day, I want to gather them in a small chapbook to be shared and spread. I’d like to include a brief introduction that would explain what, why, and how I put these together, and might offer a more straight-forward description of how love is being imagined and practiced here in Minnesota. This afternoon and tomorrow, I need to write this introduction.

feb 10/RUNGETOUTICE

3.7 miles
lena smith hill
33 degrees

Windier today. Colder too. The run wasn’t as easy. As always, there were moments that felt great, when I was strong and joyful. And there were moments that felt not so great, when I was tired and overheated. I did the hill on the river road once and the hill on lena smith 4 times. The road and the trails were mostly clear. It was only when crossing an alley or a block or running up the river road hill that it was icy and uneven. And somewhere — where was it? — there were several deep puddles covering the sidewalk. Oh, I remember: near Minnehaha Academy. 3 deep puddles, at least.

Someone was walking with a dog and holding up a sign. I couldn’t read what the sign said, but people were honking in support, which didn’t sound like support to me. All honks sound threatening or aggressive or seem to signal a warning, especially now when people are using them to alert neighbors of ICE.

Get Out Ice

Read this great story about reclaiming ice on Facebook from Sean Snow:

In an incredible display of solidarity on the East Side of St. Paul, thousands of neighbors gathered at Lake Phalen this weekend for the “Shine Light Over ICE” vigil. Organizers transformed the frozen lake into a massive canvas of resistance, placing thousands of LED luminaries and candles on the ice to spell out messages of welcome and protection for immigrant neighbors. The event was organized by local interfaith and community groups, and was designed to reclaim the word “ICE” from a source of fear back to a source of shared Minnesotan joy.

Freezing weather makes our hearts warm

In Minnesota, we know something the rest of the country doesn’t… the cold has a way of clarifying things. It strips away the unnecessary and forces us to huddle together for survival. We don’t hide from the winter… we drive right out onto the frozen water and light a fire. By turning a frozen lake into a source of warmth and light, our communities proved that no matter how cold the political climate gets, the hearts of Minnesotans burn hot enough to melt the fear. We are winter people, and we know how to keep each other warm.

Source: https://www.twincities.com/…/st-paul-lake-phalen-event…/

We are a winter people and we know how to keep each other warm. Also, the line about the clarity of the cold.

Love #14

In today’s love cento, I took words from 3 different posts by a pub near my house, Merlins Rest. I was unsure what to make out of them until I read this line,

“Community. Connection. Conversation. The Three C’s that Merlins Rest Pub was founded on.”

The Three C’s of Love

Cannot close, Committed
Calling attention, aCcountability: Caught.
Community Connection Conversation
Celebrations Challenges Change
Continue Continue Continue
Cold City Compassion

Does this work? I almost wonder if any of these “3 Cs” could be the title of a poem? I like the idea of creating another poem, using Merlins Rest Pub’s words, with this title, Cold City Compassion.

Cold City Compassion

In the bone-deep Minnesota cold
we invite you to join us.

Together, we will continue 
to keep each other warm.

Maybe I could use the quote about being a winter people as an epigraph for this poem?

feb 8/RUNGETOUTICE

2.6 miles
river road, south/north
28 degrees
25% ice-covered

A beautiful morning for a run! Sunny, warmer, clearer trails. There was some ice, but most of it had been sprinkled with dirt so it wasn’t slick and dangerous — there’s a metaphor there, right? I was glad to be out on the trail, albeit with some anxiety. Two days ago, at my annual check-up, my blood pressure was in the high zone. High enough to need to monitor it daily for a month to see if I need to go on medication. Some other test results were “abnormal,” too: high cholesterol, high thyroid, low ferritin. Bad test results make me anxious, or is my potentially out-of-whack thyroid? Or maybe it’s just living in a city occupied by ICE for more than 2 months and living under a federal administration that is careening towards full totalitarianism vile evil unhinged extremely dangerous falling apart and is desperate to hold onto power. I’m struggling to find the words to effectively describe this administration. So, yes, I was worried as I ran, wondering if my heart rate should sky-rocket the more I ran. Thankfully it didn’t. The run wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t the big escape I had hoped for, but it did bring me some delight and some beautiful moments to look to when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can I find 10?

11 Moments of Beauty

  1. the sizzling sound of wind moving through the brittle leaves still remaining on a tree
  2. quiet, then the softest knocking cutting through — a woodpecker somewhere close by?
  3. yes! looking up at a tree, I could actually see the white underwing of a downy woodpecker, it’s tiny head hammering a branch
  4. wide stretches of clear, dry trail
  5. stopping at the Rachel Dow Memorial Bench, looking out at the frozen river, wondering what Rachel would do in this moment, then believing she would be part of this amazing love spreading across the city, the state, the country
  6. a good morning from a passing walker
  7. a feeling of movement below me, then spotting a walker on the Winchell Trail, the remembering running down there, nearer to the river on a warm day
  8. the rhythmic clicking of a passing runner’s snow spikes on the bare pavement — click click click
  9. running over the slick ice and not slipping or sliding because Minneapolis Parks had sprinkled dirt — and not salt — on it recently
  10. speaking — out loud, but softly — the words to Alice Oswald’s “The Story of Falling” that I re-memorized earlier this morning — It is the story of the falling rain/to turn into a leaf and fall again/It is the secret of a summer’s shower/to steal the light and hide it in a flower
  11. (added 9 feb) a woman below, on the winchell trail, calling out, her name is Freya!, and a man responding, you’re a good girl! — just yesterday, Scott, Delia, and I had encountered this friendly woman and her dog near 7 Oaks. She was so friendly and kind that we agreed encountering her had made walking out in the cold, on the icy paths, worth it

Just writing this list, and the words preceding it, have made me feel better, more relaxed!

Get Out Ice

Even if I’ve written this before, I’ll write it again: I am finding that focusing on the fierce love and care that Minneapolis is practicing and de-centering/quieting the endless examples of ICE awfulness is helping me to endure this time. Well, more than endure. The love I am witnessing, and attempting to practice in my own way, is inspiring and making me hopeful about possible futures. It is also restoring my belief in democracy.

Here are 2 examples I shared on Facebook today:

1 — Rebecca Solnit post

One of the nuts things about organizing in the Twin Cities right now is that even the most long term organizers who’ve been here for decades can’t keep keep track of all the resistance that is going on. There are so many self-organizing crews just doing work that in any conversation with someone from another neighborhood you might stumble over a whole collective of people resisting in ways you didn’t think of. There’s a crew of carpenters just going around fixing kicked-in doors. There are tow truck drivers taking cars of detained people away for free. People delivering food to families in hiding. So many local rapid response groups that the number is uncertain but somewhere between 80 and the low hundreds . . . .

Rebecca Solnit on Facebook

2 — @terileigh via Liz May

every restaurant, church, karate dojo, dance studio, school, barber shop, and other small business has created their own underground grassroots supportive network to protect their neighbors, get people to and from work, and raise funds to pay everyday bills.

@terileigh

feb 5/RUNGETOUTICE

4.45 miles
minnehaha falls
33 degrees
60% sloppy and wet

A run outside! Above freezing! Less layers! And I made it all the way to the falls! It was sloppy, but I’ve run through worse. No lakes covering the entire path, only small ponds. I felt stronger running up all the small hills; it must be the hill workouts I’ve started doing. Maybe I should run to the falls and do some loops around the park — I could do the hills there multiple times? It’s strange, but I like running up hills now.

10 Things

  1. birds singing and sounding more like spring
  2. the dull, quiet whine of a power tool off in the distance — a drill on a construction site?
  3. the falls are completely frozen, so is the creek
  4. voices rising up from somewhere down below at the base of the falls
  5. faint traces of brown dirt discoloring the snow, making it less winter wonderland, but also less slick
  6. kids yelling and laughing on a playground — a teacher’s whistle blowing (not a warning about ICE)
  7. empty benches everywhere
  8. a few cars in the park parking lot
  9. another runner behind me, beside me, then in front of me. I delighted in hearing the sibilant sounds of their feet striking the slushy snow
  10. a few seconds of honking above on the ford bridge — someone honking at ICE or another car’s driving or in solidarity with a bridge brigade?

Get Out Ice

Today’s Get Out Ice moment is in honor of my mom, who was a fiber artist until she died in 2009, and my daughter, who is a fiber artist now.

AS OF FEBRUARY 5TH.
WE HAVE REACHED A TOTAL OF
$650,000 IN DONATIONS
Funds last week were donated to STEP St. Louis Park emergency assistance for rent and other aid and the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund.
We are working on donations to other local organizations
– stayed tuned for more info.
We are speechless. We are overwhelmed with the generosity of the fiber community and beyond. This outpouring of love and support is felt around the state.
Because of you, we can help so many people who need it.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Keep knitting. Keep resisting. Keep showing up for your neighbors.
Melt. The. Ice.

Needle & Skein Instagram post

The $650,000 came from people purchasing a $5 pattern for the Melt the Ice Hat:

In the nine years that Gilah Mashaal has owned Needle & Skein, a yarn store in the suburbs of Minneapolis, she has tried to maintain a rule that “nobody talks politics” in the shop. But amid the weeks-long occupation of the Twin Cities by federal immigration paramilitaries, Mashaal and one of her employees decided to turn one of their weekly knit-alongs into a “protest stitch-along”.

They didn’t want to return to the “pussy hats” that symbolized women’s resistance to Donald Trump in 2016, so Paul, their employee, did some research and came back with a proposal: a red knit hat inspired by the topplue or nisselue (woolen caps), worn by Norwegians during the second world war to signify their resistance to the Nazi occupation.

‘Rage Knitting’ against the machine

Love #13, version 2

This morning, I was trying out all different ways to create a poem out of text from a few local businesses. Nothing was quite working; partly because I am fixated on erasures and blackouts and can’t see (literally and figuratively) how to execute this effectively. One way out: Mary Oliver. My whole poem centers on a phrase from a MO poem, “Lead”:

I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never
close again
to the rest of the world.

Here’s my version of those lines, using words from Social media posts:

Here, now, 
on this day,
my heart
breaks, 
and tomorrow
it will stay open
to everything.

Or this variation:

My heart breaks
here, now,
and tomorrow,
it will stay open
to everything.