feb 19, 2021 / 2.25 miles / basement
Just yesterday I was searching through past entries to find where I mentioned Ross Gay’s interview for Between the Covers. Here it is!
Speaking of which, after biking I listened to a podcast with Ross “Book of Delights” Gay and his new book-length poem, Be Holding. Well, first I tried listening to my audio book Wintering but it was an extra dark chapter about insomnia that was bumming me out too much so I turned it off. Ross Gay is wonderful and his ideas about beholding as attending and looking with love, which reminded me of Maria Lugones’ idea of loving (as opposed to arrogant) perception, are very inspiring and help me restore my optimism.
I think I’ll listen to parts of it again today! The podcast inspired me to think about what I’m doing, more broadly/theoretically, with my study of my dying vision:
First, a critical intervention in the privileging of vision/sight—an exploration of other ways of attending and other language for that attention. Not just seeing but listening and feeling. What might be some aural-centric words to counter vision, insight, focus? Thinking about this reminded me of a poem I memorized this summer: And Swept All Visible Signs Swept Away/ Carl Phillips
Easy enough, to say it’s dark now.
But what is the willow doing in the darkness?
I say it wants less for company than for compassion,which can come from afar and faceless. What’s a face, to a willow?
If a willow had a face, it would be a song. I think.
I am stirred, I’m stir-able, I’m a wind-stirred thing.
Here, I’m thinking about listening and the expression of self through song, as opposed to through face and vision. The “visible signs” have been swept away by the wind, yet compassion and recognition (to beholden) are still possible.
Second, an expansion of what vision/seeing is—how do we see, what does it mean to see? what are others ways of seeing are possible? what are the different ways I do/can use my vision (e.g. peripheral instead of central)? This second project is inspired by Georgina Kleege’s book Sight Unseen and the descriptions of her own ways of seeing–even though she is legally blind, she likes to go to movies and art museums. She can still watch the movies and see the paintings, just in different ways.
Finally, at the end of this entry, I offered a list of synonyms for cured. I was working on my mood ring, Incurable. I’m very proud of that poem, and hope to get it published somewhere.
- canned
- jarred
- jammed, jam-packed
- pickled
- expired, expiration date
- spoiled
- shelf-life, stored
- shelved, put on the shelf
- decay
- needed in times of scarcity
- embalm
- preserve body for medical experiments
- dried out, old
- hardened, tough exterior, leathered, weathered
- drawing moisture out
- airtight, removing oxygen, sealing out air
- inside, packed, put away