Another streak of moving and writing about it on this day every year since I started this log!
feb 2, 2017 / 4.25 miles / 16 degrees, feels like -1
Before I took the poetry class at the Loft that changed my life, my approach to this log and storytelling was a little different — not that different, but definitely focused more on philosophy and ethics than creative writing and noticing the gorge. I created assignments for myself — which are similar to my later experiments, but more formal — and tasks to complete. In this post, I link to some of them:
Just this morning, I wondered about this:
What do I think about when I’m running? I should try to remember and make a list. But, will I remember? Thinking while running is almost like dreaming. I rarely remember my dreams and even when I do I can’t recount them in any coherent way.
I’d like to track what I think about more. I think I’ll turn this into a challenge.
Just the other day, deep in my window study, I was thinking about the relationship between the mind and the body (and the spirit) again. It’s one of the key themes of my work and this log and what I’m trying to do with my writing — bringing all 3 parts together. This entry, and the other pages it links to, reflect some of my early thinking about it. In 2017, I was very interested in what I was thinking about as I moved.
feb 2, 2018 / 4.05 miles / -1 degrees, feels like -10
A few things to note from this entry:
- I describe my layers of clothing — I still wear almost all of them. The only one I don’t: the hat
- I recorded my feet striking the crunchy snow and wrote an acrostic about it that spells out autonomous sensory meridian response or ASMR, which was very popular at that time — so many ASMR youtube videos
feb 2, 2019 / 4.75 miles / 28 degrees / 50% snow-covered
Before the pandemic, when FWA was still taking in-person lessons at MacPhail, I loved one way runs, either running to downtown to meet Scott and FWA or starting from downtown and running back.
Is this one of the earliest instances of chanting using my 3/2 rhythmic breathing?
I can’t remember when it happened but sometime in the 3rd or 4th mile, I started rhythmic breathing (in 3 out 2) and creating chants to match. I tried to remember them, but now I can’t. Except: raspberry/custard. mystery/is solved. who could it/be now? it could be/nothing. why is it/ something? These chants really helped by distracting me. I’ll have to remember to do these again.
feb 2, 2020 / bike / dance
Just before the pandemic, I watched a lot of Cheer. The wedding I attended, for Scott’s cousin Aaron, was the last time that Scott’s parents came up to Minneapolis and visited our house. Scott’s mom was in remission and it was beautiful to see her and Scott’s dad dancing.
feb 2, 2021 / 3.25 miles / basement
The start of Dickinson! Glad I stuck with it.
Finally started watching Emily Dickinson on Apple+. So far, I don’t like it and I was planning to ramble on in this log about it as I tried to figure out what bothers me. But, I deleted what I wrote. I’m planning to give the show a few more chances and watch at least 2 more episodes. If, after that, I still don’t like it, I might write something more. I’m glad that, after wanting to watch it for over a year, I finally am. Thinking about this episode and trying to figure out what I didn’t like about it has taken up almost 2 hours of my time–with nothing to show for it.
And here’s something I’d like to remember about my vision. In the past few days (feb 2024), I’ve been experiencing some of these flashes more intensely. Does that mean I’m about to have another decline in my vision?
Earlier today, someone tweeted about retinal detachments. I was curious so I looked it up. Signs: you see floaters (like spiders) or flashes of light. I’ve been seeing flashes of light for about 6 months now–not sure how many each day. I don’t think I have a retinal detachment. I think my thinning retina is thinning even more, and might be tearing. This is not unexpected. Luckily it’s not painful, just part of the process of losing my central vision. Every so often, it can feel strange–I’ve been known to call out, “woah, trippy”–but not scary. My first thought: I am so glad that I already know what is happening to me and that I have had 4+ years to adjust to my inevitable vision loss. If these flashes were the first things I noticed and then I looked up retinal detachment, I would be freaking out right now. Instead, it’s good to know what these flashes most likely indicate.
I want to give attention to this flash of light, so I can describe what it looks/feels like to me. Next time it happens, I’ll try to write down some thoughts.
feb 2, 2017 / 2.8 miles / 2 degrees, feels like -13
Watched more Dickinson! Also, reflected on a poem I was reading — Missed Time/ Ha Jin:
I disagree with the idea that nothing is better than to live/a storyless life that needs/no writing for meaning, and I don’t think happy is how I’d like to be remembered. Delighted? Joyful? Patient? Satisfied?
I’m struck by the idea of not wanting to story as I remember the White Lotus episode Scott and I watched last night — we just started. Jennifer Coolidge’s character is getting a treatment of some sort which involves her chanting the following:
Every moment, I’m being born into this life. I will drop the story, feel the newness of each moment.
feb 2, 2023 / swim / YWCA
This sums up a lot:
Met my almost 17 year-old daughter at the pool and then we swam together. She’s swimming for online gym. I love swimming with my kids. This summer I swam at the lake with my 19 year-old son, now I get to swim at the pool with my daughter. I try to stay chill and not scare them with my enthusiasm, but it’s difficult.
Much like many of pool swim entries, I wrote about all the “friends” in the water — crud, strings, hair. Maybe I should write about the regulars at the pool?